The Story of Creation that You'll Never Read in the Bible.

IN the beginning God created the Heavens and the Earth and he populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow, and red vegetables of all kinds, so that Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream and Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?" And Man replied, "Yes!" and Woman said, "And as long as you're at it, add some sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.

And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the cane and he combined them. And Woman went from size 6 to size 14.

So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croûtons and garlic toast on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.

God then created a light, fluffy white cake, and he found it good and he named it "Angel Food Cake." Satan then created chocolate cake and named it "Devil's Food" and it was better.

God brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose those extra pounds. And Satan tempted God's children with cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue screen and gained pounds.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them. And Man gained pounds.

God then gave lean beef to His children so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and its 99-cent double cheeseburger. And Satan said unto Man, "You want fries with that?" And Man replied, "Yes! And super size them!" And Satan said, "So it shall be." And Man went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.

Then Satan created HMOs